Monday, December 13, 2010

Dating Squared.

In case I haven't made it abundantly clear, I'm really freaking single. Like, haven't been on a date in about 6 months single. Haven't been kissed in I-don't-even-know-how-long single. That kind of single. I'd say approximately 350/365 days a year that is just fine with me. But on those other 15 days when I'm wishing I had a person to cook dinner for or take pictures with or just curl up and watch a movie with, I start thinking about my options. One of those options is to be set up with friends of friends and hope for the best. I have not yet explored this option, mainly because I know most of my friends' friends. We tend to travel in packs, and therefore lots of inter-mingling and mixing occurs. Plus, I'm pretty sure I'm at that age where everyone has a boyfriend. Either one leftover from college or a new, post-grad grown-up relationship. Both are fine, but it doesn't leave a whole lot to be desired by me when it comes to my friends. What I'm trying to say is, everyone I know is either in the friend-only zone or is in a relationship. And so is everyone they know. Neither are particularly helpful.

I have one friend who I'm pretty sure has dated every single guy in her vicinity. If you have a single friend, she has uncovered him, arranged to meet him, possibly made out with him, gone on a few (or more) dates with him, and it hasn't gone anywhere, thus leaving the middle-man friend in an awkward I don't know who's side to take situation. Even if things end amicably, which they always have in this friend's case, you can't tell me it's not still kind of awkward and a little bit uncomfortable. I'd know you were lying if you said that. I don't like liars.

Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, I have a friend who will ONLY date complete strangers. If you know the same people and there is even a small chance that post-dating you could run into each other, she's so totally out. I've tried to convince her to date some of my awesome friends (when they were single, because obviously now I'm in the everyone has a person but me club) and she flat out said, "They're great, but they're your friends. No thanks." It was nothing personal to me, it was just her preference. Dating one of my friends, to her, meant that I would potentially ok for sure meddle, there would be awkwardness if dating didn't go so smoothly, and she'd likely have to see this person repeatedly regardless of their dating situation. So she passed. About a thousand times. If I'm anything, I'm persistent.

So, my question is this: Do you date friends? Do you date strangers? Do you fall somewhere in between? Any horror stories or romantic tales about dating amongst friends? Even though dating my friends' friends isn't even an option because they're all snatched up, I'm interested to see how it might have worked out if it were!


  1. I was in your exact situation from 2006 - 2009. I dated on and off and had a few "encounters" but nothing serious.

    Almost all my friends were in relationships and/or getting married by the time I was single, so I was kind of on my own. It's hard to date friends of friends when you're in your late 20's and your friend circles are pretty much set. There just aren't many friends of friends anymore!

    Have you tried online dating? I did it for a while and honestly, it was really fun meeting new people! All the guys I met were fairly "normal" and all very nice guys.

  2. I wouldn't want to date someone already in the group, but I would definitely date a fringe friend of one of your friends. I like to date strangers, too.

  3. Hmm.

    I think the most awkward "dating a friend of a friend" situation I've been in was when I first started dating my ex-husband. My roommate (we'll call her Jen) was dating his roommate (we'll call him Ed) and they introduced us. Things between Jen and Ed fizzled pretty quickly (like, seriously within a few weeks of them introducing us...if not less), while things between us kind of continued (more on than off). Jen still wanted Ed. Ed didn't really want anything to do with Jen. So I and my guy were stuck in the middle of Jen trying to use me to hang out at their place all the time, and Ed talking crap about Jen in front of me (which was NOT cool considering that despite her faults she was a very close friend of mine). So yeah, all icky and awkward and junk.