Networking Tips 101

Networking is now a huge part of today's culture. LinkedIn, Facebook, even Yahoo! Jobs and Monster. I've recently connected with sorority sisters I haven't spoken to in several years about jobs, graduate school, and cities to live in. And why not? These are people I trust to tell me the truth and vice versa. They are people I can honestly vouch for, because even though we were "just" sorority sisters, I know about the person they really are.

I have a freaking awesome job at a pretty incredible company. It just so happens that my company is also very reputable and well-known. Since I can't really keep my mouth shut about anything, people know that I love my job and love where I work, so I get a lot of requests from friends for job recommendations, thoughts, help, etc. Or maybe they just want me to forward a resume, but they end up getting my unsolicited and self-proclaimed fantastic advice.

But sometimes, I get messages and I do a little head tilt. Is this person seriously asking me to answer these questions? Have they done any research about this company? I mean, have they even looked at the website?

So, I thought I'd offer a few networking tips that I think are helpful as we 20'somethings try to navigate the world of networking with our peers.

1. Get the name of the company right. There are a lot of competitors in the market. If you want a job at Home Depot, I wouldn't advise sending an email to an old friend asking about their job at Lowe's...

2. Remind them about what you have been doing! Sure your title may explain it all, Internal Controller and Director of Mapping Operations, but that title doesn't mean diddly squat to me. "As you may know, I've been working at ___ doing ___." Simple! And now the person you are reaching out to has a quick refresher of what you've been up to since you last spoke!

3. And then tell them what you want to do, and make sure it's what their company does if you are asking for a referral. If you are really wanting to be an IT consultant, make sure that the company actually does IT consulting!

4. Do some brief research. If you are looking for a job in San Fransisco, make sure they have an office there. Try to understand what the levels are within the company - don't ask about analyst positions if the new company calls them associates!

5. Don't be afraid to reach out! I'm always impressed with the people who reach out to me. I'm never leaving my job, but if I did, I sometimes wonder if I'd be brave enough to put myself out there and network with friends.

What are some of your best practices for networking via your social networks?

PSA: Facebook Edition

I promise I am not the bitter single girl. This post may make me sound like I am, but really, I swear, I'm not.

We are all adults, right? We are grown-ups with real jobs, Master's degrees, house payments, and serious relationships. And Facebook is just as much fun now that we are adults as it was when we were 18 and stalking our high school friends to see who went to college and who didn't and who was cheating on their high school sweetheart and who wasn't. Only now I stalk peruse Facebook to see who got married, who had the prettiest wedding, and who's baby is the cutest.

What I don't stalk facebook for is to see posts between husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, or yes, even mother & infant child, expressing their love and devotion and excitement about seeing them later that day (when they likely woke up next to said person 3 hours ago). Daily.

If you are wondering if I am talking about you, I am. Although in all fairness, this post is not directed at any one person in particular. Just the group of individuals who partake in previously mentioned activities.

Case and point, this morning after my cup of coffee, I ventured into facebook land. BAM - what are the first 3 posts in my newsfeed?

1. "Missing ____ sooooo much today."
2. "Mommy and Baby can't wait for Daddy to come home from work and spend the WHOLE weekend with us. We love him so much!"
3. "It's your love, it just does something to me...." and upon further investigation, the ENTIRE SONG had been posted between the 2 Facebook walls...more than once.

Here's the thing - I'm all about being in Facebook relationships, telling someone how much you appreciate them or love them on Facebook, and public displays of affection. I really, really am. But like I said - we are adults. I can only assume that if you and your baby's daddy made, well, a baby together, and you're still married, you probably are really damn excited for him to come home. And if you are living 3000 miles from your significant other, you probably do miss them so much today, and tomorrow, and the next day. But really, why do you have to let the whole world see that? Why do you let them in on what could be the sweetest part of your relationship?

I'm all about offering suggestions to remedy what I see as a problem so here is my advice: Say it out loud! Send it in a text message! Send it in an email! Send it via owl!

Maybe one day when I'm not a single lady I too will splatter facebook with my expressions of love, but for now, I'll leave Facebook for messages like "ET phone home" and "If you don't pick up the phone next time I call you I'm never speaking to you again." Because clearly, that's what facebook is for.

Christmas Spirit

I know this is 2 Christmas-related posts in a very short timespan, but I'm a girl on a Christmas spirit mission. My roommate shot down my suggestion of putting up our decorations on Sunday (watch out roommate, they'll be out in full force by this Sunday!) and I'm already plotting and planning as many Christmas extravaganzas as I can fit into my already jam-packed calendar. I've sent my mom my Christmas list, and then about a gajillion follow-up emails with other stuff I think of that I want, which I claim are just "mental reminders to myself" that I just casually copied her on. I consider it helpful, she rolls her eyes and probably reports me to spam.



Speaking of my mom, did I tell you her birthday is Christmas Eve? Yup, it has been for my whole life! So we always celebrate her birthday before dinner on Christmas Eve complete with presents and some sort of dessert. Then we have dinner. Then we do family Christmas presents, and Christmas morning Santa brings presents. Still. And it even gets held over my head.

Me: Damnit Mom what the hell?
Mom: Do you want Santa to bring you presents this year? Behave yourself.
Me: Sorry.
Mom: Well?
Me: Yes I want Santa to bring presents.

I just hope that those conversations take place in the privacy of my own home instead of say... on the MARTA bus during the afternoon commute. I bet some of those super fly businessmen think I'm pretty freakin' ridiculous. What else is new?

So, now that I've shared more background than you ever could have wondered and I still haven't found a good way to segway into this, I'll cut to the chase. WHAT THE HELL DO I GET MY FAMILY FOR CHRISTMAS? AND IF I CAN'T EVEN COME UP WITH 1 THING FOR CHRISTMAS, HOW AM THE HELL AM I GOING TO FIND 2 THINGS FOR MY MOM??? (Sorry mom, and yes I still want Santa to bring us presents).

My sister is 21, almost 22, and she & I are as opposite as they come - I wear Polo sweaters to the bar and she wears 5" heels & 2" skirts. Not even exaggerating... My dad has so many tchotchke things that I would be doing him a disservice by buying him something else, and my mom just likes to melt glass & string beads. Really awesome melted glass & gorgeous beaded necklaces, but still. You get my point. They are difficult to shop for if I am going to buy anything with any real purpose. The picture frame thing is overdone, I gave them a scrapbook for their 25th wedding anniversary... I'm out of ideas. I'm stuck.

So now what? You can't even have wine delivered in Florida, or you can bet your bottom dollar they'd be getting a bottle of wine a month for the next 12. Hmph.

Help! Although I think a little trip around the mall and into a few specialty shops is calling my name... I'll report back on what I find.

Who Should Pay?!

I was at a Bachelor viewing party with some girlfriends last night, and of course precious Jake and those crazy ladies took a backseat to girltalk. What else is new? We were discussing significant others and dinners, which led to venting about significant others and dinners, and then we finally moved away from significant others and dinner to dinner with others in general.

One of the girls mentioned that she went to dinner with her family to celebrate a birthday, and her significant other planned to offer to pay for dinner. Like, the whole dinner. We all had differing opinions about the appropriateness of when to offer, should you offer, who should offer, etc, so I thought I would ask the blogging world.

When you are out to dinner, do you offer to pay every single time no matter what? What if you are with family? Or someone else's family? Does it matter who you are with, whether or not you offer to pay?

One of the arguments was that you don't want anyone to just assume you were getting a free dinner. If you took someone to dinner and they didn't offer to pay, would that be your assumption?

I think it's different for everyone. For me, I rarely offer to pay. If I go to dinner with my family, it would just be silly. If I go on a first of second date, I am traditional enough that I feel paying is the man's responsibility. However, that gets tricky on later dates or once you are in an established relationship. I am by no means a taker and not a giver! Even if I go to dinner with a friend's family, I don't offer to pay, mainly because I know that if the situation were reversed, my parents would never accept money from one of my friends.

So, mis amigos, what do you do? Do you offer? What does it depend on? Or do you just offer every time, just because it's the right thing to do?