I'm Alive! I'm Alive! I'm Alive!

Well, well, well. I'm alive! I'm exhausted! But I'm here. So many things to share my thoughts on and my opinions on, and I promise they are coming.

School quite literally kicked my asana this semester. If you decide to get an MBA, don't ever let anyone trick you into thinking it's going to be a piece of cake. Especially if you are also working full-time. I don't know who told me that or why I believed them, but let me just tell you something. School is not for the faint of heart. But, here I am, one final presentation away from being 25% done with an MBA, so I can safely say it's do-able.

And when you try to combine school with a whole bunch of work and work travel, life just gets all sorts of tricky. I was in Miami, Dallas twice, Augusta, and Chicago within 3.5 weeks and let me just fill you in... spending that much time in airports and on airplanes guarantees misery and illness.

The good news is after the last trip, I was met by a sweet guy (here on out referred to as MJ) at the airport and had flowers waiting for me at home. Seeing that smiling face after an exhausting 2 days and a flight with backed up sinuses about put me to tears, but I managed to hold it together for the sake of pretending like I'm not a crazy person! He'll have plenty of time to figure that out...

In between school and work and traveling, I've celebrated weddings and MBA proms and my own birth and the birth of friends. I've cheered on the Braves, spent quiet weekends at home, studied until I couldn't think and partied until I couldn't see. I've made new friends, re-connected with old friends, and feel like I am really and truly living life intentionally.

So with that, I leave you for not long... stay tuned!

PS - how are you, friends?!

Friday, Friday, Gotta Get Down on Friday

1. They've found me. Everything minus the living with your person and going on double dates, everything. #momsknoweverything

 

 2. I got Virginia, which is close to Georgia, and much closer to home than most of my friends got. What are you?

 

3. I'm so excited - I've joined up and become a guest blogger at bSMART-- this week I'm sharing advice on keeping your resume up to date, among other things. If you liked my series on busines school, I'd highly recommend joining bSMART. I've been seriously impressed!

 

4. Obsessed. I've listened to it approximately 100 times on repeat.

 

 

5. I re-joined Tinder after my traumatic experience. Snowstorms make people crazy, don't judge. So far I've reconnected with a guy I used to date, scheduled a date for next Tuesday, and had penis pictures sent to me. Internet, I love you.

 

6. Running. I'm running again. Thursday, I only ran 3 miles, but I ran them faster than I've ever done. Friday I ran 3 more at the same pace, and I'm hoping to do 4 miles before tennis practice on Saturday morning. My shin pain has miraculously gone away (knock on all the wood)

 

7. It's b-school admittance season and I've adopted the #proudmom hashtag for all my kiddos who are accepted or applying, because I'm basically the proudest mama HR person there ever was. All my kids deserve trophies! The worst part is waiting for 2nd rounds in March, I think my anxiety might be worse than theirs. PS - those are the 2 best kids I've ever known <3 p="">

 

 

 

8. I haven't had a haircut since September, which I promised my new haircut girl I wouldn't do. But I loved, loved, loved my long hair and I wish it would grow this long again.

 

 

  

 9. I graduate from business school in May 2016 and I turn 30 in April 2016. You'll be able to find me in Iceland, Russia, China, and SE Asia in May/June/July 2016. Bye, work! See you in the fall.

10. I'm still happy. So so so so so so so so so happy. I smile just because. I don't even have a reason not to anymore. Let's all just be this happy together!

Just Feelin' Happy

My worlds collided about a year ago when I found out my GMAT-study-group-turned-business-school-BFF and work BFF knew each other. Fast forward, and now the three of us run in the same circles and see each other relatively frequently.

My work BFF has abandoned me for an amazing project abroad, and came back for a visit this weekend. Unfortunately due to Atlanta's ridiculous inability to deal with any sort of weather situations, his flight was delayed and I had a Saturday class and a huge assignment to work on, so we didn't end up seeing each other.

 

However, he & my business school BFF were at the same Super Bowl party and I guess my name came up. Work BFF called me from the airport to talk about life and catch up since we didn't see each other, and he said that when he asked how I was doing, our mutual friend told him that I was really happy - happier than I've been in a long time, and always in such a good mood.

 

I'm not sure why this resonated so strongly with me or touched me as much as it did, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I guess I am surprised. Don't get me wrong, I am over the moon happy with my life, so that's not the surprise. I simply had no idea how vividly noticeable my happiness was in my personal and professional lives. I am beyond pleased that without even trying, without even thinking about it, my natural state of being right now is happy, warm, energetic and fun.

 

That feels pretty darn good to me.

 

 

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#theoandbeau

For the love of all things, please follow @mommasgonecity on Instagram you are seriously missing out on the beautiful relationship between a baby boy and his baby puppy at naptime.

 

I've loved her blog for a while, but these pictures slay me. Anyone else's ovaries hurting? EV better be careful else I may come home with a pup. No babies, but puppies are so not out of bounds.

 

Photo credit obviously belongs to Momma's Gone City. I'm just dying over the sweetness.

My Thoughts on Seeing a Therapist

Taboo topics, for the win.

 

Yep, I see a therapist. I have for about 8 months now. The last time I was there she kinda-sorta tried to break up with me and I straight up told her no. I get it, she's having a baby soon and needs to figure that out and I'm not exactly high priority on her list of patients when it comes to real medical need, but she's pretty dang high on my priority list when it comes to doing real life so she isn't going to get rid of me that easily.

 

I started seeing her last December when my uncle got really sick and my family got overwhelming and my anxiety went through the roof. And we got into a sweet routine. I go in ~every 10 days, we talk for 45 minutes, she gives me some excellent perspective and I carry on with my life (and presumably she with hers.) I've told her about that pesky friendship that keeps popping back up - she's totally not a fan but she gets it, and she claims I've come a long way. She was one of the first people who knew about graduate school. I felt safe telling her because she hardly knew me then. She asked constantly about the Lenten Adventure and for the first time in 8 months, I sat in her office and sobbed a few weeks ago.

 

You may wonder how I found her... I googled. And then I called around. I knew I wanted to see a female, and I knew I was looking for someone who specialized in anxiety, relationships, and general life stuff. I also didn't really care what type of degree she had, so long as she was certified to see me as a patient. I wasn't sure the difference between a licensed counselor, LPC, LMFT, etc, and I figured it probably didn't matter so long as I found someone I clicked with. I 'interviewed' one woman to see if we'd be a good fit, but turns out she didn't take my insurance so I had to move on. My current doctor isn't particularly convenient (her hours are only 9am-5pm, so I have to take 1hr off work each week to see her) but for some reason I just felt like it worked when we first met. So we kept meeting, and a few weeks in she asked me how I felt things were going and I was honest; I felt really comfortable with her, felt like we had really established a good cadence for our appointments, and I really appreciated her perspective and oppenness with me. So we keep on keepin' on.

 

I think this happens, where people get attached to their therapists. I'm officially attached to mine. I don't particularly need her. My anxiety is under wraps mostly. My family is sane. I have a good routine that is only going to get more structured, not less. I feel appreciated and valued. But she is now part of my people. I just enjoy talking to her. I enjoy her perspective, her support, her calling me out on my antics. I like trying to predict how she will react when I tell her something. I genuinely enjoy therapy sessions because it's like talking to an unbiased friend. I think that's what it is designed for, but I also think therapy (seeing a therapist/psychologist/pyschiatrist) will be a different experience for everyone. Just like no 2 people are the same, no 2 experiences will be either.

 

So that's that - it's why I see a therapist, and why I'm not the least bit ashamed of it. No one should be. We all need somebody to talk to, who is on our side, always ready to help us stand up and be the best we can be. I'd encourage anyone who is considering it to take the leap. I was nervous at first, but it's been nothing but positive. I'll be right here cheering you on and hoping you find something and someone as wonderful and helpful as I have.

 

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Life, lately (as in, early July)

Life needs to cool it. I worked a smooth 60 hours last week, plus had a holiday thrown in. Busiest week of work since I started in 2010, and we were 1 team member short for most of the week, AND I was on my own Friday. Exciting, fun, but stressful and exhausting. I am hoping for a little less excitement this week but considering I'm flying to Boston Monday and returning Tuesday, I think the excitement levels will still soar. I guess this makes up for the (few and far between) weeks that I say "things are so quiet, I'm getting so much done!"

Good news though, we're officially halfway through 2013 and I'm officially halfway to my goal to read 50 books this year. I'm going to try to step it up a notch in July, because I think school may get in the way of reading during the second half of the year. Just a hunch...

Speaking of school, Orientation/classes start August 5! Can't believe it. I am going to try to squeeze some sort of trip in between now and then, but I'm not sure I can swing it. I am not a very good solo traveller, and I was having a hard time finding anywhere to go that was both in my budget and would be fun for me by myself. I was looking at Caribbean all-inclusive resorts and then found Anamaya Resort. Fingers crossed it works out! If not, I guess I'll just have to wait until Colombia later this fall and spend as much time as I can at the lake in the meantime!

Also, I started and then stopped kind of, sort of dating someone. He was great at first pass, pretty good at second pass, and then the wheels kind of fell off. I was willing to give it a go, but he had some pretty serious personal stuff to work out and apparently I'm not cut out for that. All's well that end's well, and now I know that while musicians can be H-O-T, they may not be my 'type.' And good teeth are still up there as top 3 qualities in a man.

Looking at my calendar over the next few weeks, maybe I don't need a vacation. Maybe instead what I need is a stay-cation and to catch up with friends that I've been missing. I've got several things scheduled over the next few weeks that I think will leave me feeling rejuvenated and fulfilled. People I haven't seen in months (or years!), or haven't spent real time with, or who I've only seen in passing and said, "hey!" before running to whatever is next.

 

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The rest of 2013

 

When I find images for blog posts, I usually search a "__ + tumblr" because I guess that's where all the good pictures are. As I was exploring for a different post, I came across this image, and thought it would be fun to talk about all the things we want. Plus, we're halfway through the year, so why not reflect on some of the resolutions we made in January? What do you want for the rest of 2013?

 

I want to throw a surprise party. I want to fall in love. I want to save money. I want to continue to make my parents proud. I want to take another incredible, inspiring trip. I want to stop picking at my fingernails. I want to be with all my best friends in one place, and take a picture. I want to donate blood. I want to thank the people who mean the most to me. I want to hire someone to work with me. I want to get all A's, and I want all the kids at school to like me!

 

What do you want? What are you dreaming of? What would make 2013 the best year ever?

 

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Summer Weekends

This past weekend was the kind of weekend I dream about. It was as close to perfect as a weekend involving a hangover could get.

 

On Friday I spent the afternoon working outside on our patio. I put a sign up on my door pointing folks to where they could find me and parked it. It was breezy, shady, and the perfect temperature.

Late Friday afternoon, I spent the happiest hours at the bar in a nearby restaurant drinking wine and flirting with the cute bartender before a delicious dinner with some of my favorite friends/colleagues/posse.

Lots of wine on the table. Lots of empty wine glasses on the table. Home before 11pm and somehow still managed a full-fledged hangover Saturday.

 

I powered through, won my mixed doubles tennis match in 2 sets, and headed up to the lake to see my family for Father's Day. I think the last time we spent a Father's Day on the lake was when I was in high school. To say my dad was excited might be an understatement.

Sunday I came home early (but not before daddy opened his present - a new business school tshirt!) to play another tennis match. Kicked butt on the court for the second time this weekend and raced home to meet my friend for lunch. We went back to the restaurant where the cute bartender works and enjoyed a delightful afternoon on a patio in Midtown. I also learned plenty about him. There may not be relationship potential but he's a pretty fun Mr. Right Now (if Mr. Right Now means I make every effort to walk by the restaurant as many times a day as possible without being weird and hoping he sees me).

 

We got manicures and pedicures, laughed until our sides hurt, and then I came home and ate vegetables for dinner before settling into bed, texting ET about how great my weekend was, and crashing until I opened my eyes on Monday morning. Perfect, perfect, perfect in every single way.

recent obsessions

koala berry by opi -- makes for the perfect beach-ready toesies!


new TV show -- can't stop watching

 

loft striped maxi skirt -- light and airy for spring & summer (from the outlet)

 

 
I would see this show anywhere, any time.


went to a Mexican restaurant over the weekend and randomly ordered a chile relleno -- this thing was CRAVE-WORTHY. can't wait to go back and eat it again, and again, and again.


 

On blogging...

 

 

One of the challenges with blogging is figuring out how to represent yourself. I know people that I know in real life read (hi, friends!) but I write as if I'm writing to a bunch of strangers. Partly because I don't have enough of a life to justify blogging about it in order to "keep everyone up to date" and partly because it's easier to write as if you were anonymous and your audience was anonymous. That whole things-are-easier-from-behind-a-screen, 21st century complex.

I've been thinking a little bit more big picture about this blog and why I write. I do it because it makes me feel good, I do it because I like connecting with new people, and I do it because I know I'm not the only one experiencing life this way, so we might as well share what we know.

But suddenly I'm feeling like I need more "fluff." I've posted some really personal things about my relationships, my friends, my family, and myself. I'm okay with that but what if you real, but kind of imaginary people, aren't? Do you want to read about how my heart breaks over a single text message, or about the mold in my shower and the bugs I kill in my apartment? Do you want to know about my grad school application process, or are my "current obsessions" plenty?

I'm trying really hard to keep it a mix of both, but honestly, it's easier for me to write about the serious stuff. I can talk fluff with anyone, but the serious stuff, I like to write. Duh.

There wasn't a huge point to all of this, other than to tell you that I'm trying to keep things light with a touch of serious and excessive oversharing of my life details, because that's what I do best.

 

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What do you do when you're mad

What does it mean to fight fair?

 

We all get in fights. We get in fights with our moms, our bosses, our best friends, our siblings. Some people are perpetual winners of fights, and others are perpetual losers. Or that's how it seems to me, because I'm a perpetual winner. But am I really a winner, or do the people I fight against just give up because I am relentless and so they just get tired of the fight? It's such a terrible habit, and one I'm trying desperately to break. So many things just aren't worth it!

 

But sometimes, it is worth it. When I can think rationally enough, I try to give myself space. I'm allowed to be mad, but I'm not allowed to fly off the handle. Then, I write. Remember when I had a non-relationship breakup? I wrote all the time, and I really think it's how I got through that time. So now it's my go-to response to a fight. I write. I write mean, angry, rude, terrible emails or notes in my iPhone. I write until my anger has quieted and I'm left with the actual problem. Then I decide if it's actually worth the fight. 9 times out of 10, it's not. I feel infinitely better because I've "vented" but nothing has suffered as a result.

 

How do you handle a fight with someone you love?

 

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Saturday Night

I went to a dinner party on Saturday night, and it just reminded me how wonderful it feels to be surrounded by good people.

 

We celebrated birthdays, weddings, love, new beginnings and happy endings.

 

We cheers'ed, high-fived, snuggled, drank, sang, and danced.

 

It was actually quite a perfect Saturday night, and the best reminder about what matters most.

 

 

Even if that includes an over-sized Louis Vuitton duffel and a fox fur.

Death ain't nothing but a heartbeat away

 

I got news on Friday that a dear friend passed away.

 

The first thing I immediately felt was regret. Regret for not having spent more time with his family. Regret for not knowing that he was dying of prostate cancer. Then I felt sad. Sad for his wife, who was akin to a cool aunt to me in high school. But never sad for me. The truth is, my life won't be affected drastically. In fact, my life will hardly be affected at all.

 

I've unfortunately learned that we all deal with death differently. When my uncle passed away in December, I internalized it all. I empathized with my mom, with my aunts and uncles who lost their brother, with my grandmother who lost her son. I cried for their loss while we were at the funeral, at the cemetary, and even when we were alone at his house. Then we started the trip home, and that's when I started my own grieving. I pulled everyone I loved as close to me as I could (not physically, of course) and tried to keep them there, protected in my little cocoon. That only works for so long before your friends start to think you've gone a little loony... but that's how I dealt with it.

 

So when I found out about my friend Charlie, I was prepared for how I was going to react. Attend funeral, cry, drive home, overattachment to besties, alligator tears. I had this down. Then I surprised myself, and instead of doing my grieving after everyone else was done, I grieved in advance. I was returning some phone calls from before my London trip and catching up with old friends, and suddenly it hit me. I found myself en route to Charlotte and pulling over on the side of the road until the uncontrollable sobs passed. Until the overwhelming sadness for his wife and son and daughter subsided. While my fear of losing my own parents consumed me.  

 

Death doesn't have to be a reminder of what you have or don't have, or push us to hug our loved ones just a little bit tighter. It can also be a feeling of thankfulness and peace. One of the kindest, most patient, loving, honest men I've ever known is no longer suffering. His wife, who I love dearly, can live in peace, knowing her husband made it to his final resting place. He's most assuredly in heaven, the place he couldn't wait to be. I'm so thankful to have known him, to have shared some of the greatest moments in my short life with him, and to have been able to honor him at his funeral.

 

I didn't mean for this to turn into a diatribe honoring Charlie. What I intended to write about was funerals and how we all respond to tragedy and loss differently. So, I summed that up in one sentence and will now leave you with one piece of advice that I learned (albeit the hard way for him) from Charlie at the tender age of 15: Don't forget about the beer you put in the freezer to make it extra icy cold. It will explode, and that's not fun for anyone.

 

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Busyness

How many times have you had this conversation:

Friend: Hi! How are you?
Self: OMG So busy, you wouldn't believe it.
Friend: Yeah, me too. Tell me about it. I know the feeling.
Self: Yeah, life's just super crazy right now.

I've had that conversation so many times it makes me want to throw something. Do I have nothing better to say than, "look at me I'm so busy and important." So, I have focused recently on not telling people about how busy I am. Instead, when they ask how I am, I answer honestly. I'm stressed out because I feel like my life is falling apart. I'm really happy, because my parents are coming into town. I'm excited for a long weekend away with extended family. I'm geeking out over the Olympic Trials.

I am doing all of these. Clearly I am busy. That goes without saying, so I try really really hard not to say it.

Then I found this article via Facebook friends and realized that I'm not the only one annoyed by my constant proclamation of busyness.

So I challenge each of you to change your answer from Busy to Something Else just once and see how it feels. I bet you won't feel quite so busy.

There's nothing like...

1. Traveling via airplane with me. Ask Rachel. Or anyone who knows me, really.
2. Getting an unexpected compliment.
3. Turning on the tv and finding it's just before the best part in a good movie.
4. Running into an old friend in an unexpected place and spending a lot more time than you thought you would catching up.
5. Falling asleep on your couch while watching Saturday afternoon football.
6. Waking up on Sunday morning without an alarm.
7. Hugging your best friend/mom/dog/pillow after being gone for a while. Even if a while is only 8 hours.
8. A text from a friend telling you that your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend totally sucks. Even if you've way moved on and could really care less, hearing that doesn't get old.
9. Having a really crappy day turn out kind-of-sort-of-might-be-somewhat ok. So what if it's 4 months later?
10. Losing the first set in a tennis match terribly, only to come back and kick butt in the next 2.
11. Coming home to find that your roommate has done your least favorite chore.
12. Forgetting about an awesome show on your DVR for a few weeks.
12a. Spending a rainy Sunday catching up on said tv show.
What would you add to this list?

Life is not a grocery store

Every morning I get up, I get dressed, I come into work, I turn on my computer, I put my lunch in the refrigerator, I get a glass of water and a cup of coffee, I return to my desk, I make sure there are no super important emails to respond to, and I get down to the real business of reading my Google Reader. This morning was no different (except I spent the first 30 minutes of blog-reading on my couch, thus making me 30 minutes later to work. It's Thursday, whatever.) I opened this post, and haven't stopped thinking about it since.

I'm going to copy & paste Caitlin's words here, because I couldn't paraphrase them well even if I tried:

Life is not a supermarket stocked with limited quantities of happiness on the shelves. There are no shelves packed with loving partners, successful jobs, beautiful babies, and nice homes. Just because someone else has a loving partner, successful job, beautiful baby, or nice home doesn’t impact my ability to achieve the same things. Life can’t sell out on happiness.

Life is like the shore, where the ocean meets the sand. There’s room for us all to stand near the waves. The water recedes, the waves crash in. And sometimes, the waves bring in goodness. Washing up right at our feet are loving partners, successful jobs, beautiful babies, and nice homes. What one person receives down the shoreline doesn’t impact your ability to achieve happiness. And sometimes – just sometimes – you have to wade in and take the happiness you want.

In movies, when a terrifying natural disaster is near, everyone rushes to the supermarket, and two crazed women inevitably start fighting over the last loaf of bread. I’m tired of that treating others like we’re all staring down an empty, dusty supermarket shelf.



Caitlin is obviously in a different place in her life than I am in mine, but the point of her message still rings true: we can all achieve happiness, and it doesn't have to be at the expense of someone else.

 

I had a long conversation with a good friend last night, and he told me that I empathize with others too much. It's true - I take on other people's emotions on top of my own. I'm happy when they are happy, I'm sad when they are sad. I've always been this way, and I think I will always continue to be. But sometimes, just for a minute, I think they should be grateful for what they have, or they should be even happier than they are, and I find myself thinking those things because I am without whatever they are happy about, be it a new relationship or an exciting new job or WHATEVER.

So today, I'm here to tell you that I am going to be even more aware of my attitude towards my friends, coworkers, and just people I come across in life. I'm going to be happy when they are happy, and sad when they are sad, and just let that be enough. My time will come when someone will be happy when I am happy, and I hope when that happens that person isn't secretly thinking I should be feeling some other way.  

Calendaring My Life

I'm back! You can expect some Argentina recaps, complete with approximately 500 pictures, but for now I'm still sorting through my thoughts and catching up on life. I've been back for a week and I still feel behind at work and in life.

One way that I'm catching up? Scheduling my life. Between playing on 3 tennis teams, working 60+ hour weeks, football games, acupuncture & massage appointments, and everything else in between, I feel like I am being pulled in 8000 directions. I finally sat down today and updated my calendar to include everything I want to do and when I expect to do it.

Then I spent an hour figuring out how many dinners I wanted to cook this week (because spending a week in Argentina isn't exactly budget-friendly) and then going through my Google Reader and figuring out what I wanted to eat. Guys, easier said than done, but here's what I ended up with:

Sunday: Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken -- found via Pinterest (to be eaten on salads or in a quesadilla w/ blue cheese)

Monday: Saturday night hibachi leftovers for lunch; Ground beef tacos for dinner (1/2 lb beef)

Tuesday: leftover tacos for lunch; Falafel pita for dinner

Wednesday: leftover buffalo chicken for lunch; Slow Cooker lasagna for dinner with the other 1/2 lb of beef that cooks while I play a tennis match!

Thursday: leftovers (lasagna, falafel, tacos, who knows?) for lunch; more leftovers for dinner, I have a 7pm tennis match

My parents are going to be in and out of Atlanta this week as they finalize the details on our almost-finished lakehouse, so this may all change as soon as they figure out what their plans are...or maybe I'll just pass the menu on to my mom and they can help me eat up some leftovers! I'll probably share quite a bit of this with my roommate, too, so maybe the leftovers won't be quite so plentiful. That's always the problem with cooking for 1 -- so many leftovers, and I get tired of the food!

So, that's part of the way I'm getting my life back under control. The other part includes calling my beloved housekeepers and running so many errands.

I've talked before about how I prep to leave for vacation, but how do you re-focus mentally when you return? 

Change Schmange

I am probably the most change averse person I know.

When my parents sold my house back in 2008, I literally refused to come home and pack up my room and my stuff, to the point that my mom eventually threw it all into boxes and one day I came home and my room was empty. I guess it will be fun to unpack those boxes in a few months.

The summer before my freshman year of college, I said I wished I could live in June 2004 forever. One of the best gifts I have ever gotten was from a high school friend related to that comment. She created a little box out of cardboard, and on the inside she glued pictures of our group of friends from that summer and an amazing quote. She said, "Here you go, Katie. Summer 2004 forever." I'm pretty sure that teeny, tiny cardboard box is packed away somewhere but I'm not sure where. See above.

And now, my life is changing again, in small ways. Two people who have become very close friends are "moving away." My parents are spending more and more time back in Atlanta, preparing for their our lakehouse to be ready. We have a new youth minister at church who has basically managed to flip the entire program upside-down and inside-out in a matter of 2 weeks. And for some reason, I can't help but thinking that perhaps my romantic life is about to change as well. I have zero reason to believe that, so maybe it's just hopeful thinking.

For the first time in my whole life, I'm not quite as opposed to these changes. My friends leaving means bigger and better things are in store for them, and I'm excited and proud. My parents moving back means I'll get to spend more time with them AND that the lakehouse will finally be complete. A new youth minister could mean new volunteers, potential new friends, and a fresh start in leading teens closer to God. And my romantic life? Well, to that I say it's about damn time. 

I am embracing these changes as best I can, but don't mind me if I try to bury my head in the sand for a little bit while all these things happen around me. It's what I do best.

How do you deal with changes? Are you of the "Heck yeah, bring it on" mentality, or more like me, the "but why can't things just stay exactly like they are at this very minute?"

I'm a Tennis Fiend & Apparently Can't Focus on 1 Topic in 1 Blog post.

I just thought you all should know that I haven't won a tennis match in 2 weeks. Granted I've only played two official matches (and 2 unofficial matches) but still. My ego is feeling slightly bruised, and my competitive side is disappearing. Quickly.

I find myself looking at a scoreboard that reads 3-0 and thinking...ok, I'm going to lose, I might as well hurry up and get it over with so I can get out of this drenching, nasty heat. Then I end up tying the score at 3-3 and then losing 6-3.

One of my friends that I play with on the reg told me the first 3 games shouldn't count and while I didn't agree when he said it because it would have meant that I lost instead of I won, I am now leaning closer to agreeing. Maybe that's the loser mentality? If only those first 3 didn't count, then I'd win. But how do you stop at 3? How many do you play before it starts counting? When you start winning? Then it's definitely the loser mentality.

Anyway, I just wanted you all to know this about me. I don't like to lose, but I don't like being hot and sweaty either. For what it's worth, last night we lost and I was okay with it because we were making really good shots and placing them really well, just...a little outside the lines. But I'm okay with that. I'm not okay with hitting the ball 9 miles behind the baseline or into the net.

I also earned 26 WW points playing tennis the last 2 nights, so that's a win, too. I can drink 1/2 a margarita or eat 2 oreos. Actually, did you know that 3 oreos is only 4 points? Not bad, my friends, not bad at all.

Speaking of oreos, I heard about a few things recently that I wanted to share. Do you know there is such a thing as man versus machine? I thought it was some sick exercise thing, but no, I was dead wrong. Man versus machine is when a (hu)man eats 1 item out of every slot in the vending machine in a 24 hour period. Also, one of my friend's little brothers was challenged to eat the top 2 rows of candy in a vending machine in an hour. Who are these people? Apparently he wanted to practice and I was around for the text messages after his practice round that said, "Dude. My stomach hurts." Why would you practice something like that? People are so weird.

My other friend told me about a contest between 2 people. Real people! People she knows! One had to do Man versus Machine and the other had to eat only 1 bag of Cool Ranch Doritos every day for a week. Apparently 1 bag of Cool Ranch Doritos has the necessary caloric intake for a day. 7 days of only Cool Ranch Doritos! An entire vending machine in 24 hours! I think my heart just collapsed and the button on my pants popped off. GROSS!

I'll let you know when I hear about the results of both challeneges. Any other vending-machine-eating-idiots out there? Please share. Considering these two things were shared with me within days of each other, I'm convinced there is some subliminal messaging. Maybe I've already drank too much WW Kool-Aid and it's a subliminal voice screaming "STAY AWAY FROM THE VENDING MACHINES KATIE." Don't worry, voices in my head, there aren't any vending machines around here. Only open jars full of Oreos.

Anyway, back to tennis - who wants to play? I've got a vending machine to eat my way through and I need to earn some activity points.

Things You Should Know

1. I joined Weight Watchers.
2. I have a crush.
3. I've met 2 people that I only previously knew via the internet.
4. I'm addicted to summer TV. Last night I dreamt my name was Annie. No lie.
5. I can't figure out how to transfer my playlists from my old computer to my new one.
6. I miss using my camera.
7. I'm currently reading this.
8. Playing tennis has become my newest obsession.
9. The 5 most recent friends I've made have been women, yet somehow I always find myself surrounded by a group of guys.
10. I bought a new watch. Two, actually.