Thursday, May 23, 2013

What do you do when you're mad

What does it mean to fight fair?
We all get in fights. We get in fights with our moms, our bosses, our best friends, our siblings. Some people are perpetual winners of fights, and others are perpetual losers. Or that's how it seems to me, because I'm a perpetual winner. But am I really a winner, or do the people I fight against just give up because I am relentless and so they just get tired of the fight? It's such a terrible habit, and one I'm trying desperately to break. So many things just aren't worth it!
But sometimes, it is worth it. When I can think rationally enough, I try to give myself space. I'm allowed to be mad, but I'm not allowed to fly off the handle. Then, I write. Remember when I had a non-relationship breakup? I wrote all the time, and I really think it's how I got through that time. So now it's my go-to response to a fight. I write. I write mean, angry, rude, terrible emails or notes in my iPhone. I write until my anger has quieted and I'm left with the actual problem. Then I decide if it's actually worth the fight. 9 times out of 10, it's not. I feel infinitely better because I've "vented" but nothing has suffered as a result.
How do you handle a fight with someone you love?

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