My Thoughts on Seeing a Therapist

Taboo topics, for the win.

 

Yep, I see a therapist. I have for about 8 months now. The last time I was there she kinda-sorta tried to break up with me and I straight up told her no. I get it, she's having a baby soon and needs to figure that out and I'm not exactly high priority on her list of patients when it comes to real medical need, but she's pretty dang high on my priority list when it comes to doing real life so she isn't going to get rid of me that easily.

 

I started seeing her last December when my uncle got really sick and my family got overwhelming and my anxiety went through the roof. And we got into a sweet routine. I go in ~every 10 days, we talk for 45 minutes, she gives me some excellent perspective and I carry on with my life (and presumably she with hers.) I've told her about that pesky friendship that keeps popping back up - she's totally not a fan but she gets it, and she claims I've come a long way. She was one of the first people who knew about graduate school. I felt safe telling her because she hardly knew me then. She asked constantly about the Lenten Adventure and for the first time in 8 months, I sat in her office and sobbed a few weeks ago.

 

You may wonder how I found her... I googled. And then I called around. I knew I wanted to see a female, and I knew I was looking for someone who specialized in anxiety, relationships, and general life stuff. I also didn't really care what type of degree she had, so long as she was certified to see me as a patient. I wasn't sure the difference between a licensed counselor, LPC, LMFT, etc, and I figured it probably didn't matter so long as I found someone I clicked with. I 'interviewed' one woman to see if we'd be a good fit, but turns out she didn't take my insurance so I had to move on. My current doctor isn't particularly convenient (her hours are only 9am-5pm, so I have to take 1hr off work each week to see her) but for some reason I just felt like it worked when we first met. So we kept meeting, and a few weeks in she asked me how I felt things were going and I was honest; I felt really comfortable with her, felt like we had really established a good cadence for our appointments, and I really appreciated her perspective and oppenness with me. So we keep on keepin' on.

 

I think this happens, where people get attached to their therapists. I'm officially attached to mine. I don't particularly need her. My anxiety is under wraps mostly. My family is sane. I have a good routine that is only going to get more structured, not less. I feel appreciated and valued. But she is now part of my people. I just enjoy talking to her. I enjoy her perspective, her support, her calling me out on my antics. I like trying to predict how she will react when I tell her something. I genuinely enjoy therapy sessions because it's like talking to an unbiased friend. I think that's what it is designed for, but I also think therapy (seeing a therapist/psychologist/pyschiatrist) will be a different experience for everyone. Just like no 2 people are the same, no 2 experiences will be either.

 

So that's that - it's why I see a therapist, and why I'm not the least bit ashamed of it. No one should be. We all need somebody to talk to, who is on our side, always ready to help us stand up and be the best we can be. I'd encourage anyone who is considering it to take the leap. I was nervous at first, but it's been nothing but positive. I'll be right here cheering you on and hoping you find something and someone as wonderful and helpful as I have.

 

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Seriously Lame Post.

I've written out a list of Top 10 Thursday things 4 times now, only to come up very, very short. I give up on the stupid list. Instead, I'm going to pour my heart out just a little bit. Feel free to close the window if you want, or keep reading. It's really up to you. As I'm writing this, I have no idea what I'm actually going to say. Probably just ramble a little bit. (edit: I don't think these ramblings turned out half bad, but I'm the author so does my opinion really count? Unclear.)

My sister came over for dinner last night, and we had a really enjoyable little evening together. My parents brought us some fish that my dad had caught the last time they were in Atlanta (sorry if that doesn't make sense, they brought the fish to Atlanta, they didn't catch it here) and it intimidated me and smelled bad, so basically my sister came over as a security blanket so I could cook the fish. Isn't that lame?

I have been reading for the last month about how delicious pumpkin and butternut squash and spaghetti squash and all things gourd related are, and when my mom & I went apple picking I also bought a butternut squash to eat. I'd never tried squash before but I figured if everyone else liked it then I probably would too! I didn't have any vegetables for said fish dinner, so I roasted the butternut squash. It was really gross, neither of us liked it, and we tossed most of it. Isn't that lame?

My sister still lives in the sorority house and she brought over carrot cake for dessert. It was so cute, she brought it over in a styrofoam cup because they were out of to-go boxes, and it even had a little fork stuffed in it. In hindsight, I should have taken a picture, but instead I took one big bite because I really like carrot cake only to realize that apparently the new chef at the sorority house is a big fan of walnuts. I am not, at least not in my carrot cake. Isn't that lame?

And lastly, it's my 2nd to last day at work and I am so pleased that almost all the candy that I keep at my desk is gone, except the red & blue sour gummy worms. I bought the CVS brand sour gummy worms and upon first taste, decided they TOTALLY SUCKED and refused to eat anymore, hence them being out on my desk for everyone to eat. Well, I quickly changed my mind and consumed all the delicious tasting sour gummy worms, starting with the best ones until only the worst remained. And now I have 5 measly red & blue sour gummy worms sitting on my desk waiting to be eaten, but they're nasty. Isn't that lame?

Now I have to go do work I was supposed to do 3 weeks ago, because when I leave they are going to quickly figure out I haven't done it. That is especially lame.

#6: I really enjoy talking on the phone (and in general).

You know how some people say they just aren't phone people? I'm not one of them. I truly enjoy talking on the phone, I like listening on the phone, and I am just in general a phone person. In fact, I even recently purchased a new phone because I use mine so much!

On top of being a serious phone person, it really bugs me when people aren't phone people. I get seriously irritated. I realize that this is a personal problem and nothing more, but come on -- is it that hard to pick up the phone and make a phone call?

I think half the reason I enjoy talking on the telephone so much is because I have so much to say. Just how much do I talk? Let's take today for example:

25 minutes at 9am - Shayelyn (boss)
20 minutes at 12noon - Amanda
30 minutes at 1pm - Mom
30 minutes at 2:30pm - Mom
1 hour at 8pm - TEFL Institute
15 minutes at 8:55pm - Mom
20 minutes at 9:15pm - Greg
45 minues at 10pm - Dad
20 minutes at 11pm - Amanda

Seriously?!