Monday, February 20, 2012

Thoughts about online dating

1. Why would you ask "Are you having any luck on here?" What am I supposed to say? Yes - but it's not with you? No, I'm a troll and no one wants to date me? Seriously. Does anyone have a good answer to that question beyond ignoring the email?
2. If you wink at me, or nudge me, or poke me, or whatever me, and I whatever back... now what? You whatever-ed me first, so are you now going to email me first? Or should I take the wink as an invitation to send you an email? But then that just means you are lazy. Or I'm lazy if I'm the one winking first.

3. If my profile says "interested in 6'0-8'11" then why, Mr. 5'4", are you winking at me?

4. On that note, if your profile says "interested in women age 30-45" then why are you sending me emails asking why I visited your profile but didn't drop you a note? I'M IN MY TWENTIES.

5. If you know me in real life, the appropriate thing to do is block me from seeing your profile and never visit mine. The appropriate thing to do is not send me an email saying, "Katie, is that really you? Why are you online dating?" The appropriate thing to do is also not visit my profile every other day. Guess what? I can see that you are doing that. It's weird.

6. Chatting online is reserved for Gchat and Microsoft Communicator. Not Facebook. And definitely not dating websites.

7. Poor grammar and spelling mistakes are an immediate turnoff. If you suck at spelling, copy/paste in to Word for a quick spell check before posting your profile. Or have a friend read it. Or your mom. "u" is not a substitute for "you", either.

8. I know all you gentlemen callers are looking for someone who is genuine, drama free, motivated, active, healthy, fun, smart... you get the idea. Newsflash, no girl is drama free. Even the most drama free girl. And we all want someone who is all of those things. Let's either recognize that and eliminate that part from our profiles OR come up with more creative adjectives.

9. Pictures of you from 1,000 feet away or so up close that I can't actually tell what you look like are not helpful. I look at pictures after I have read a profile so as not to bias myself, but it's an instant buzzkill if I'm really digging you and then your pictures contribute nothing.

10. I'm a picky bitch as evidenced by #1-9, so you probably shouldn't try to date me.

Anything else you'd add to this list?

1 comment:

  1. "Newsflash, no girl is drama free. Even the most drama free girl."

    So sad, but so true. I mean we can try as hard as possible to not create unnecessary drama or just be overly ridiculously dramatic, but eventually there will be an argument and things will GET dramatic and then the S.O. will say "but you were supposed to be drama-free!" Like it's a disease that you can prevent with medicine or something.