Ur Gr8

So, it's 2010, I get it. People are lazy, I understand this as well. Technology is the greatest thing since sliced bread according to the baby boomer generation and the generation of parents that have small people now. You know them - they peaked in 1992 while listening to NKOTB and wearing a crimped side pony, stirrups, and an oversize tshirt. All of this I can 100% understand. What I cannot understand, however, is the need for abbreviations for EVERY SINGLE WORLD GROUPING KNOWN TO MAN.

I don't need any help in indicating just how hard I am laughing. If I am talking to you via the interwebz or text and I think you are funny, I will inform you of that by saying "HA! That was funny!" or "Aren't you quite the jokester?" I will never again bring myself to use (because yes, I was once in 8th grade and used AIM, I imagine these were tossed around like 10 years later I wouldn't hate my 14 year old self) those types of words.

Ex: LMAO, LMFAO, LOL, ROFL, ROFLSFH... I think you get the gist.

I cannot tolerate, and will not respond to any form of communication involving abbreviations that include numbers. I wish I had saved text messages from my former roommate. I'm pretty sure I harassed him about every single text he ever sent me, yet he never stopped sending them. They went something like this: "Hey Josh where should I go for the event tomorrow?" "if ur l8 go 2 bck dr" "are you allergic to vowels or something?" "jst go 2 bck dr kt"

Let me translate that for you. "If you're late, go to the back door." "Just go to the back door Katie." That was not an exact text message, and it was not even as good as my favorite one I received. But the substitution of u/ur for you/your, the "8" for the "ate" on the end of late... it makes me want to take his phone and throw it across the room. I can't stand it. ESPECIALLY IN EMAILS.

The takeaway: don't send me any form of communication that substitutes u for you, 8 for late, uses lol to say I was being clever, or otherwise indicates you are any less intelligent than you actually are. If you do, I might just roast you on my blog for the whole world to see. We all know how well that turned out for my Godfather Dave.