What the heck

Why not start blogging again?

I stopped because I felt like I was putting too much of myself on the internet. People who I knew only tangientially (hello consulting word!) were running into me and asking about my garden or how I was liking my new couch or how my trip to Argentina was, and it just made me feel... uneasy. Like I was exposed and vulnerable and not in control.

Control. Isn't that a funny word? I've been thinking about it a lot recently. So many of the things I do are fueled by control or lack thereof. Fear of airplanes? Because I'm not in control. Creating drama in perfectly normal relationships? Because I felt like I had lost control. Always being the one to drive? Need to be in control. I find myself wondering more and more... why?

What I'm trying to say is I'm going to start blogging again. Rather than feeling like I'm sharing only snippets of my life that all make it sound perfect and wonderful and happy, I'm hoping it will be more like a journal of what I'm doing, what I think about, and how I'm feeling. It will still be a bit reserved and there will likely be things going on in my life that I don't blog about (trust me, you don't want to know all the things that go through my mind...) but hopefully I'll find a rhythm that feels a little more natural to me.

Lucky you!